I had a lot of first impressions throughout the experiences of our first couple of days in Thailand. I think although there is much to choose from, I really was choked by my sense of connection to a part of my identity, family, and culture that I feel very detached from the majority of time. I’ve noticed many minuscule details that remind me completely of my dad, a lot of spaces where I see similarities or cultural influence on my family that I’ve often felt alone in my experience at home.

On the first day in Chiang Rai we were brought to a khao soi restaurant where the owner had a radiant smile while preparing and serving our dish. As our group ate, we listened to the owner have a conversation with Archan Cathy, eagerly speaking about the dish, its ingredients and preparation. Hopping between language use, speaking in both Thai and English, I sat in awe of his passion for food. I saw something in him that I see so clearly in my dad.

I always joke that my dads love language is food and although I am over 8,000 miles away from him, I feel more connected to him than ever. With every meal or Thai beer I have, I think of him. The journey of pain and sacrifice he endured to immigrate to the United States may never bring him back here to Asia, but I feel honored to have the opportunity to be here, for both me, and my family.

There is a moment- when I walk silently into a location of history, that I feel a sense of awe and reverence. I can feel in my bones the hopes, dreams, and prayers that have been given and trusted to the place. I can see the focus and care and time that has been put into each detail, each tiny piece.

This sense of astonishment and wonder was almost overwhelming at the Buddhist temples. As a group, we would walk carefully and silently into the Wat, our bare feet and socks sliding gracefully on the smooth floor. In the Wat Phra Kaew, the Emerald Buddha gazed over the people who were bowing to him, as they lowered their heads and hands to the floor three times. The room was completely quiet, and in that moment I was startled by that intense feeling of awe. In this silence, the Wat buzzed with energy. The energy of history and time. The buzz of thousands of people having arrived here before with reverence and worship that the place holds. It was beautiful. Abruptly, someone whispered something; their voice breaking through the silence, and that moment was broken.

The Wat Huay Pla Kang dominates the environment; the vast white Buddha surveying all of Chiang Rai. As we walked into the Wat, the music and prayers filled the room. There was a different energy here compared to the Emerald Buddha. The place was loud and bustling, with people moving around with purpose. Collecting flowers for offerings and sweeping the floors, the Wat was buzzing with organized chaos. Still, that noise held power and awe. It held the activity of prayers, held the care and dreams of the people who spent their time here. It was beautiful.