I mentioned in my last blog post that I was having a difficult time finding the words to describe my experience here – two weeks later, I am still struggling. The difference, however, comes from something I’ve learned here: that its okay not to know and to just go with the flow. This experience has taught me so many things, and it has been a combination of being here in Thailand and being able to share this experience with 19 other amazing students. I am a little scared for re-entry back into my life in the US: am I different? I didn’t believe that three weeks was long enough to have such an impact, but I was so very naive in thinking that. I have to say that my experience here has made me reflect a lot on the beauty in simplicity and this idea of not knowing. I plan to rid my apartment of all the unnecessary clutter I have collected, because all I can picture is our first homestay that consisted of only the necessities: a roof and faded pictures of family. Also, the shower was just a faucet connected to the wall, and the floor made of stone, and for some reason I am really hung up on the idea of why do we have plastic tubs? Why do we separate the shower? Why do we have four cars or feel like success is connected to money? I know it seems silly, but that is a glimpse of how my mind has been trying to process everything I have seen or heard here. It all matters, because the choices we make to focus on bettering ourselves or our community, our shared environment or our lawn, is all interconnected.
This blog post has been interrupted with random moments of crying, and smiling as I reflect on every moment, and person that has shaped this experience for me. I wish I had the words to explain this, and maybe one day I will, but for now it’s okay.